Slimming The Crowd

Hey everyone!
This is (technically) my 100th post. But since I have only actually posted 51, its not all that big of a celebration. It also says something about my ability to commit to my posts: 49% of them never get seen. That's right, the screening process is pretty tough over here at Starburst! (Also, this may be the first time that I've ever referred to this blog by name. Go figure!)

Anyway, I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had been sort of talking to a guy on the phone. I was really indifferent as to whether or not things would have progressed from there, because in all honesty, the guy somehow tweaked my number one nerve numerous times inside the "getting-to-know you" phase. This nerve? Its the one that is the pre-cursor to my Creeper Alert. Its the one that sends up the red flag probably much sooner than deserved, but is usually right on the money. It separates the pretentious from the well intentioned, and has saved me from much trouble. The nerve is... when a guy I just met (or anybody, really) thinks they "know" me.

Its easiest to figure out early on. The guy is so secure about himself that he is totally confident making complete assumptions about your person, days after first talking. Frankly, anyone who wants to try to recommend me a movie, book, or band ("I thought of you when I saw this, you'd really like it!") is a red flag in the first week. My reasoning? Because A. You should NOT be thinking about me as a function of your daily life, we've spoken twice. and B. two conversations are not nearly enough to tell you what my tastes are, or vice versa. So what is supposed to be this really fantastic, thoughtful "line", becomes a blind stab in the dark. And yes, this makes me a bit bitchy, but I firmly believe that I am a complex, thought-filled person, whose tastes are not easily understood when the combined time of conversation is equivalent to about four hours.


But I will be completely honest, I let this slide when talking to Boy. I was trying to be open to new people, and I am constantly remembering that I myself, make horrible first impressions, so to expect more of others is unfair. Erego, I ignored Boy's attempts to recommend gory, cheesy, over produced horror films to me and instead tried to focus on other things. He was looking to meet new people, he liked to read, etc. etc. Okay, fine. But neither of those things ended up boding well for this kid either.


It turns out, he wanted to "meet new people" because he desperately wanted to get over his last ex. I can understand that, obviously. In November I was doing all sorts of boy-crazy, idiotic things. But then I realized what I was doing (largely, making an ass out of myself and viciously confusing the other person) and decided to take a step back. What I was NOT understand about, was his favorite sentence: "Girls are bitches." To which I could do little else to reply: "I'm sorry, I always found us to be wonderful."


The latter interest, his love of books, had the potential to be endearing but died sooner than I expected. I received a message one day telling me that he had found three new books, so that he had something to talk to me about. "A" for effort, of course, although I was admittedly weirded out, because at that point, we hadn't spoken in a week (because he had called daily at times where I couldn't answer, and then would text when the phone went to voicemail. After day three of this I began to avoid the calls) and he was putting in WAY more effort than I was comfortable with. Once again, after maybe four hours of conversation.


So the whole thing seemed to have fallen flat as an inappropriate match. Which I was totally okay with, because it gave me some damn good stories to tell Topher. About two weeks ago I assumed that I had heard my last of Boy. But oh, I was wrong.


This morning I got back from my friend's college (late and cold, thanks NJTransit!) and opened my laptop to a message on facebook. Apparently, Boy had been im'd by a girl Sarah a week ago, and thought it was me. Which is cool, mistakes happen and the name's popular. The strange thing was that this mistake took him a week to figure out (so much for knowing me I guess) and when he did, he made a date with this new girl. I was definitely relieved to figure out that he found some other girl. Although I can't help but cringe at all the things he probably now associates with me, particularly since he spent a week talking to someone else and thought it was me. Why he felt the need to let me know about the mistake, and his date, was really strange to me at first. We haven't spoken in two weeks, I officially had walked away from it. It wasn't until Topher told me that Boy was informing me that he was moving on and that I had "missed my chance" that I understood.


Looks like I really lost what could have been True Love!