COMPLETELY UNRELATED:
Me (on phone): Hey Brother?
Brother: Yeah?
Me: Can I borrow your black shirt?
B: Why?
Me: I'm going out and the only shirt I have has paint on it. I don't want to look like a complete skank.
B: You can, but only if you still look half skanky.
Me: Okay, I'll make sure my pants don't fit, then.
B: Then you can borrow the shirt.
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