Peeling Back The Curtain

Throughout my high school career I only dated a handful of guys. And by a handful, I mean that from freshman year to senior year there were three. Each of them were different, each was compatible to a different part of me, and some of them I dated more than once, with the blind hope that "this time, it would be different".
Shortly after graduation I got back together with one of these guys. He was the one I had dated the most often, the one who being with was as easy as breathing. The one I (stupidly) could see myself marrying. We spent the entire summer in love, we worked through conflicting schedules and barely being able to see each other. And even though we were going to college a few hours away from each other, we decided to see if the relationship would survive. Both of us believed that it could. We expected it to.
Last week that relationship fell apart. Its amazing how quickly something so powerful can splinter into nothingness. We went from being convinced of our future, to not having one in a matter of days. And I'm not writing this to point blame at either one of us, because in the end, what does it really matter what went wrong? We each relinquished our end of the relationship- starting with me, and soon afterwards he did as well.
Since the breakup a few days ago I've been burying myself in creative endeavors, trying to remind myself who I was before this summer. Its been a strange sense of relief, that through the intensity of everything I can still create. I'm writing again, and I'm connecting with people. I believe that the latter is because in a way, I lost a connection that I held onto very tightly. Now that that connection is gone, my need to create new connections has heightened.
So I guess the reader (you) would be wondering why I would talk about this publically. Aren't I afraid he will read what I've written? To a degree, yes. I don't want it to be taken out of context, and I don't want to be seen as cruel. However I am doing this "project", so to speak, to network through honesty. And right now, this situation is at the forefront of my life. So if he reads this then there is little that I can do about it. Would I be upset if he did the same? Probably, depending on what he was saying. But being a hypocrite is sorta the axel on which my life spins. For now, I'm just trying to balance something new among a million other new things. And I guess this is the first sign that some of these things, I'm going to fail at. But its the way I pick up after that failure, how I get everything back on track and plunge ahead, that categorizes how my life will be.