Oh My Wisdom

I wrote this post an hour before I went to get my CT Scan yesterday. After reading the details of that particular adventure, it really shouldn't be surprising to anyone that these were my thoughts directly before the whole ordeal:



When I graduated I became, (lets face it), less bitchy. My friends are laughing now, 'cause they're all like... this is LESS bitchy? Please woman, be 'fo realz. But I AM 'fo realz. I was a total bitch in high school, up until the last few months. Then I Chilled.The.Fuck.Out. It was a glorious time, despite the strange looks I received every time I threw around the words "love" and "happy" and "forgiveness". I was on my way to motherfucking sainthood, and damnit it was good. I bought more shirts supporting activist causes, I started wishing people "happy birthday", and I even allowed myself to be hugged whenever anyone opened their arms. I became a hug whore. If there was a hug STD, I would have most certainly caught it and spread it around so far that it would have been a fucking Hugging STD epidemic, totally untraceable to me but would probably be guessed to originate inside of precious feral panda bears in China. 'Cause we haven't blamed China enough for things recently, and its just About Damn Time.

Anyway, with everything going on I've become a lot more cynical lately. Not towards people I know personally, of course... because part of that "less bitchy" thing was realizing that the people around me are probably the most fantastic, amazing people on this goddamn planet, and seriously...we need more people like that right now. And not towards God or Jesus or any other heavenly body, 'cause they're all really cool and I love them and they're looking out for me and I appreciate that, which I tell them 'cause Topher taught me how.

But I am noticing that the constant "give them a second chance" or "the intentions were good" or "give them the benefit of the doubt!" philosophy that I've been living under is silly. Some people are shits. They don't mean to be shits, maybe, and they aren't shits all the live-long-day... but there is definitive shittyness out there, and by ignoring that I am not accepting one of man's greatest feats. We can be cruel, terrible people and still sleep at night. I'm talking to you, Omar Al-Bashir... and your sidekick, my Doctor's office.

Excluded from these are my Friends, family, professors, roommate and her boyfriend, a wonderful woman named Wilma whose name may be given to my first born child (boy or girl), everyone my mother works with, and the people at the insurance company who despite the fact that they deal with illness and theft all day long still wished that I would feel better.

Okay, FINE, the world is still a wonderful place, with caring people and only a few assholes. But seriously, those few sure as hell ruin it for the rest of us sometimes, don't they?